Meet Hayden Thrasher! Hayden is a Junior Computer Science major from Greenbrier, Arkansas. This is Hayden’s third year with the NSFP office. Along with being a Lead Parent Ambassador, Hayden is a member of the BYX Fraternity and is a Houseboy at the KKG Sorority house.
Take a big sniff. Do you smell that?? I know I can, do you know what it is?? It’s love! Love is in the air! Ah it smells so good, like happiness mixed with flowers, with just a touch of “Oh no, I’m going to go broke now that I am in a relationship.” Ah, doesn’t it smell incredible??
Now, regardless of whether you actually think I can smell love or not: as a parent of a college student, there will more than likely come a time when your student falls in love during their time here at the University of Arkansas. Maybe it’s already happened, or maybe this is your students first year and they (as my best friend says), “Brought sand to the beach.” Or, perhaps your student is still waiting around for Mr. or Miss “Perfect” to come around. No matter what, the time will come when your student begins a college relationship.
I used the phrase “college relationship” for a reason, because the relationships that your student begins in college will be so different than the relationships that they have had in the past. At least, they might be for you. While your student was in High School, you probably knew of the person that your student was dating. You had probably at least heard of them before, due to school events and yearbooks. If you are from a smaller town, then you may have known the other person for their entire lives. You probably also knew exactly when your student left the house with the person they were dating, and exactly when they got home.
However, now that your student is in college, chances are pretty good that you will not know anything about their new significant other. Now that they have moved away into a residence hall or their own apartment, you definitely won’t know when they leave with their significant other or when they get back. For my parents, this was a pretty hard fact of life to accept when I moved to Fayetteville. Not just with relationships, but with life in general. They went from knowing everything pertaining to my whereabouts, to only getting the pieces of information I was able to share with them on the phone.
As hard as it might be when your student starts a new relationship in college, I’ve got something for you that might help settle your nerves:
Your student is still your student. Sure, college is a time of change for everyone; a time where every student forms their own opinions, and truly find out who they are, but they are still your student. For the most part, the core values that you tried so hard to instill in them won’t change too much. And don’t worry, if your student is in a serious enough relationship, you will likely get to meet their new significant other.
The most important thing I can tell you is to remember that this isn’t your relationship; it is your student’s. Whoever your student falls in love with is their decision. They are growing up now, and it’s your job now as a parent to be there for them, support them, and encourage them towards their passions even if you don’t understand them at all; including in their dating relationships. If someone makes your student happy, then that is truly all you can ask for out of them. True happiness is the most important thing when it comes to relationships.