Meet Hayden Thrasher! Hayden is a Junior Computer Science major from Greenbrier, Arkansas. This is Hayden’s third year with the NSFP office. Along with being a Lead Parent Ambassador, Hayden is a member of the BYX Fraternity and is a Houseboy at the KKG Sorority house.
If your student has spent longer than just a few weeks in college then you may have received a text, letter, email, or phone call that went a little something like this:
Dear Mom and Dad,
Thank you for everything that you have provided me with throughout my lifetime. For providing me with life, with food, with memories. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy lives to have me, and take care of me every single day as a child, and raising me to be the amazing young person that I am today. I cannot express my gratitude to you for all of these things. I love you both more than you can ever know. Mom, you are the most beautiful lady I’ll ever lay eyes on. Dad, you are an exceptional looking man. I love you both so much!
Love dearly,
Your Student
PS: I could really use about $500 if you by chance have it to spare. LOVE YOU GUYS!!
While the amount may be different, and the language may be slightly off, these kinds of letters tend to follow this general pattern. It’s the classic example of a college student who needs a little extra cash from their parents. First, the “butter up”. We really lay it on thick, reminding you much we love you, how thankful we are for everything, and how amazing you are as a parent. While it is not that we are lying, or that we don’t believe what we are saying; it is just that we know we need to make you feel good before we get to the business that needs to be attended to. Then, at the very end we slide in the request; as if it was just an afterthought.
I do not know if this method works for your student, but my parents have the uncanny ability to see right through this clever facade. They know what is coming even before I get around to asking it.
One of the most important things about college is that students have the chance to grow up and mature in almost every aspect of their lives, including how they handle their finances. As a parent, you have probably been somewhat or mostly responsible for your student and their finances for their entire life up until this point. Now is a great time to encourage them to learn how to budget on their own.
One great resource that the New Student and Family Programs office provides is a budget sheet that you and your student can fill out together each semester. We encourage you to let your student fill it out for themselves first just to see what they think might be a reasonable budget for them. After that, we suggest that you and your student to sit down and talk over what they wrote down. Chances are, they will be a little off on some parts of it. However, talking with your student about a budget helps set an expectation of not only what you expect, but also what they should expect in the real world as well.
To be completely honest, one of the worst things you can do is to serve as an ATM for your student: always handing out free cash whenever they ask. This is the best time for them to learn how to properly handle finances. Be prepared for them to make some mistakes along the way, and know that you may have to help them with this adjustment. Or maybe you decide with your student that the best thing is for them to get a job so they can make their own spending money! Every student is different, and every situation is different. There is no one way to help your student with their finances that works for everyone. However, almost every way that ends up working out best for both you and your student starts with a conversation.
So maybe the next time you get that email, text message, phone call, or telegraph from your student asking for money, I encourage you to start a conversation. Conversations with your student over any matter are important, and starting a conversation about finances is no different!